After our initial foray into art, (via Minimalism and silly questions about art fairs) we ventured even further into the art realm by visiting the motherlode of all art fairs in Asia – Art Basel Hong Kong. Yikes!
None the wiser, and only armed with a few vague memories of local art fairs, we boarded the plane and walked the halls of HKCEC (the Hong Kong Convention and Exhibition Centre) till our legs fell off… 242 booths later. This art fair is a behemoth. It’s all too much to take in, but here’s a sampling of pieces that caught our non-expert eye…
After running out of blue plastic things, the artist discovered his balls.
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 3/5 (entry level A E S T H E T I C)
The Ability to Keep an Upright Posture While Standing Still (Partial Reconstruction of Joaquin Garcia Torres Toy Figures as an Instrument of Research for Politics)
The artist promises he’ll get round to finishing the artwork… after he comes up with a snappier title.
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 2/5 (strangely moving)
The whole booth (that’s not a title, we’re just looking at the whole booth)
If you want to sound smart, say: “Post-Internet anthropocene” then quickly move on, unless you are nostalgic for a past none of us actually had. Lu Yang is one of the more celebrated artists of the moment, but this feels like an utter exploitation of our youth.
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 4/5 (feels like a piss take)
100 and One Dead Poets
Oh yeah, we used to do this to make our Chinese compositions seem longer.
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 1/5 (lovely)
You had one job, mate!
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 1/5 (we love how profound this picture feels)
This Means Tableau
If I had this hanging in my living room, I won’t have to goat to work anymore. It holds answers. To what questions? Dunno.
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 1/5 (stunning in its naiveté)
Do Ho Suh
Fuse Boxes, London Studio, New York Home, Studio & Corridor
If his gauzy fuse box can’t “shock” you, the price of it literally will!
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 2/5 (delicate, but a bit hard to bond with)
Neo-Rococo Portrait of Nicki Minaj as Madame Barbe de Rimsky-Korsakov,
Overheard: “OMG is that like Cardi B? Or Nicki Minaj…? I can’t tell…” Yup ,that sums it up, really.
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 4/5 (not ironic enough, just tacky)
Birkin Bag Black (Shelf)
Bag Donated by Sofia Coppola
Imagine buying this and trying to explain it…
“Art, okay?” – blank look
“Jeff Koons, okay!” – blank look
“Bag used to be owned by Sofia Coppola” – blank look
“Lost In Translation?” – blank look
“You know, that racist film starring Bill Murray that made the Japanese all look like clowns?” – blank look
“Ok, the mirrors behind were free.” – “Ahhhh…they could have been a bit bigger?”
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 4/5 (this is Jeff being Jeff)
Works from Automobile Series
Jaguar Land-Rover’s quality control issues continue to plague the car company. Vehicles are being delivered too small to fit real humans, and the gift-with-purchase standard fit hair just seems to be out of control.
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 4/5 (we almost stepped on the art)
Five Centimeters from the Ground
An unsuccessful attempt to escape the art fair.
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 3/5 (yeah, okay.)
Music While You Work
This guy took ugly sneaker culture and supersized it over a bumper car.
That’s it’s off-white makes it worse.
Truly the most horrible thing on show.
Hou Wat Dat Rating: — 5/5 (bluff who?)